http://www.pacificarticles.com en-us http://www.pacificarticles.com N/A rchamria@gmail.com Mon, 08 Sep 2008 12:36:05 -0500 20 http://www.pacificarticles.com/articles/3038/1/When-Your-Feeling-As-Old-As-The-Adage/When-Your-Feeling-As-Old-As-The-Adage.html I started out the day feeling quite ancient. Like maybe I should go look at retirement homes, reserve my cemetery plot and buy some Depends. Maybe I should begin writing my memoirs, before my memory gets any worse. leeuna_foster@pacificarticles.com (Leeuna Foster) Fri, 13 Oct 2006 00:00:00 -0500 http://www.pacificarticles.com/articles/3037/1/Hard-Rock-Country/Hard-Rock-Country.html At the first sign of Spring, when mowing season begins, the neighbors immediately begin nailing plywood over their windows. Reports of Hubby's intent to mow are announced on the six o'clock news. Sometimes they interrupt the regularly scheduled programing for a lawnmower alert. leeuna_foster@pacificarticles.com (Leeuna Foster) Fri, 13 Oct 2006 00:00:00 -0500 http://www.pacificarticles.com/articles/3036/1/My-Mind-Wandered-and-it-never-came-back/My-Mind-Wandered-and-it-never-came-back.html I miss my mind. I really do. I miss the old days when I could remember everything I needed to buy at the market without making a list. leeuna_foster@pacificarticles.com (Leeuna Foster) Fri, 13 Oct 2006 00:00:00 -0500 http://www.pacificarticles.com/articles/3035/1/Can-You-Dig-It/Can-You-Dig-It.html Most humor writers are relatively happy people. They are well adjusted and they have learned to take the bad things in life and find a little humor in them. leeuna_foster@pacificarticles.com (Leeuna Foster) Fri, 13 Oct 2006 00:00:00 -0500 http://www.pacificarticles.com/articles/3034/1/The-Crack-In-the-Southern-Belle/The-Crack-In-the-Southern-Belle.html I never claimed to be sane. I'm a writer. We don't need sanity to write. All we need is a keyboard and an idea. According to Mark Twain, "When we remember we are all mad, the mysteries disappear and life stands explained." With that said, the issue of my mental state stands corrected. This Southern Belle has indeed cracked under the pressure. leeuna_foster@pacificarticles.com (Leeuna Foster) Fri, 13 Oct 2006 00:00:00 -0500 http://www.pacificarticles.com/articles/3033/1/I-Shaved-My-Legs-For-This/I-Shaved-My-Legs-For-This.html Allow me to elaborate on my not so pleasant experience at my doctor's office the other day... leeuna_foster@pacificarticles.com (Leeuna Foster) Fri, 13 Oct 2006 00:00:00 -0500 http://www.pacificarticles.com/articles/3032/1/How-to-Quit-Writing/How-to-Quit-Writing.html Last week, I decided to quit writing. Tired of rejection, tired of being a slave to words and phrases, I decided it was time I straightened out my life. leeuna_foster@pacificarticles.com (Leeuna Foster) Fri, 13 Oct 2006 00:00:00 -0500 http://www.pacificarticles.com/articles/3031/1/I-Heart-Dave-Barry/I-Heart-Dave-Barry.html I was surfing around, minding my own business when, all of a sudden, I came upon it. A HUMOR SITE! leeuna_foster@pacificarticles.com (Leeuna Foster) Fri, 13 Oct 2006 00:00:00 -0500 http://www.pacificarticles.com/articles/3030/1/The-Morning-Glory-People/The-Morning-Glory-People.html They are the ones who wake up before the rooster crows, stretch like a cat, jump out of bed and into the shower and then into their clothes. leeuna_foster@pacificarticles.com (Leeuna Foster) Fri, 13 Oct 2006 00:00:00 -0500 http://www.pacificarticles.com/articles/3029/1/O-The-Price-of-Biscuits-and-Gravy/O-The-Price-of-Biscuits-and-Gravy.html Hey, does anybody out there have diabetes?Well, if you're shaped like a pear and you're from the South where the three main food groups are flour, sugar and lard, (pronounced shortening for you Northern folk) then you have a good chance of developing it. leeuna_foster@pacificarticles.com (Leeuna Foster) Fri, 13 Oct 2006 00:00:00 -0500 http://www.pacificarticles.com/articles/3028/1/The-Funny-Thing-About-Humor/The-Funny-Thing-About-Humor.html Did you ever have one of those days?The kind where you can't see the humor in anything, no matter how hard you try? leeuna_foster@pacificarticles.com (Leeuna Foster) Fri, 13 Oct 2006 00:00:00 -0500 http://www.pacificarticles.com/articles/3027/1/Thighway-Robbery/Thighway-Robbery.html When I looked at my reflection in the mirror I screamed like a panther.Somebody had stolen my legs! leeuna_foster@pacificarticles.com (Leeuna Foster) Fri, 13 Oct 2006 00:00:00 -0500 http://www.pacificarticles.com/articles/3026/1/New-Year-Greetings-Humor/New-Year-Greetings-Humor.html May all your ex's move to Texas. josh_greenberger@pacificarticles.com (Josh Greenberger) Fri, 13 Oct 2006 00:00:00 -0500 http://www.pacificarticles.com/articles/3025/1/Growing-Old-At-The-DMV-Humor/Growing-Old-At-The-DMV-Humor.html Does the DMV (Department of Motor Vehicles) hire extras just to make the place look busy? josh_greenberger@pacificarticles.com (Josh Greenberger) Fri, 13 Oct 2006 00:00:00 -0500 http://www.pacificarticles.com/articles/3024/1/The-Worm-Train-Theory-A-Satire-On-Evolution/The-Worm-Train-Theory-A-Satire-On-Evolution.html Did evolution begin on Long Island? josh_greenberger@pacificarticles.com (Josh Greenberger) Fri, 13 Oct 2006 00:00:00 -0500 http://www.pacificarticles.com/articles/3023/1/The-History-Of-Personal-Ads-Humor/The-History-Of-Personal-Ads-Humor.html Did Marc Anthony once run an ad in The Roman Chronicle, "Looking for Egyptian queen -- must know how to water ski?" josh_greenberger@pacificarticles.com (Josh Greenberger) Fri, 13 Oct 2006 00:00:00 -0500 http://www.pacificarticles.com/articles/3022/1/Encounter-At-A-New-York-City-Party-Humor/Encounter-At-A-New-York-City-Party-Humor.html This story is Based on a gross exaggeration of a hypothetical situation. Any similarities to persons or events in your life is purely coincidental and rather pathetic. josh_greenberger@pacificarticles.com (Josh Greenberger) Fri, 13 Oct 2006 00:00:00 -0500 http://www.pacificarticles.com/articles/3021/1/Are-Personal-Computers-Becoming-Too-Personal-Humor/Are-Personal-Computers-Becoming-Too-Personal-Humor.html Has the PC replaced the dog as man's best friend? josh_greenberger@pacificarticles.com (Josh Greenberger) Fri, 13 Oct 2006 00:00:00 -0500 http://www.pacificarticles.com/articles/3020/1/Airport-Delays-Humor/Airport-Delays-Humor.html The time you spend at an airport could cut days off your vacation. josh_greenberger@pacificarticles.com (Josh Greenberger) Fri, 13 Oct 2006 00:00:00 -0500 http://www.pacificarticles.com/articles/3019/1/Tech-Support-And-Root-Canal-Humor/Tech-Support-And-Root-Canal-Humor.html Which one is more painful: Calling tech support or a root canal? josh_greenberger@pacificarticles.com (Josh Greenberger) Fri, 13 Oct 2006 00:00:00 -0500 http://www.pacificarticles.com/articles/3018/1/How-They-Do-It---With-A-Metaphysical-Twist/How-They-Do-It---With-A-Metaphysical-Twist.html The Greatest Psychics always do it with Protection! cheryl_lynnebradley@pacificarticles.com (Cheryl Lynne Bradley) Fri, 13 Oct 2006 00:00:00 -0500 http://www.pacificarticles.com/articles/3017/1/Major-Arcana-Road-Jokes/Major-Arcana-Road-Jokes.html How did the Fool cross the road?Walking softly and carrying a big stick. cheryl_lynnebradley@pacificarticles.com (Cheryl Lynne Bradley) Fri, 13 Oct 2006 00:00:00 -0500 http://www.pacificarticles.com/articles/3016/1/Herm-the-Pickpocket/Herm-the-Pickpocket.html How a man becomes a pickpocket matt_landau@pacificarticles.com (Matt Landau) Fri, 13 Oct 2006 00:00:00 -0500 http://www.pacificarticles.com/articles/3015/1/4-Rules-to-Remember-When-Making-Your-Meat-Smoker/4-Rules-to-Remember-When-Making-Your-Meat-Smoker.html Four very important steps to follow if you ever dare to take on the project matt_landau@pacificarticles.com (Matt Landau) Fri, 13 Oct 2006 00:00:00 -0500 http://www.pacificarticles.com/articles/3014/1/My-Life-Thus-Far/My-Life-Thus-Far.html How I met a woman who looked like a flamingo matt_landau@pacificarticles.com (Matt Landau) Fri, 13 Oct 2006 00:00:00 -0500 http://www.pacificarticles.com/articles/1626/1/Laughing-Toward-Truth-Six-Tips-for-Lighthearted-Thinkers/Laughing-Toward-Truth-Six-Tips-for-Lighthearted-Thinkers.html Do you believe in the power of your convictions? Ohh...baby. It's time to lighten up! mayatalisman_frost@pacificarticles.com (Maya Talisman Frost) Sat, 29 Jul 2006 00:00:00 -0500